Motive for Tsunami Attack

BlameBush!: Bush's Lust for Oil Claims 24,000 More Lives

April 12, 2001. After the Indonesian government condemns Bush's Iraq policy, The World Bank (at which George H. W. Bush once had a savings account) cancels a $300 million loan to Indonesia, destroying the tiny nation's fragile economy and condemning millions to a slow death by starvation.

October 30, 2001: In an act reminiscent of the Boston Tea Party, a group of romantic freedom fighters known as the Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam (LTTE) attack and sink an oil tanker off the coast of Sri Lanka. Millions of gallons of petrol are dumped into the sea. Enron CEO Jeff skilling resigns as stocks plummet 89%. Halliburton stock drops 67%. A federal investigation is launched into the financial activities of both companies.

July 24, 2002: Sri Lankan Prime Minister Ranil Wickremesinghe meets with U.S. peeResident George W. Bush in Washington to apologize for the loss of the oil, and to seek his support in the eradication of the peaceloving Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam.

October 22, 2003. Bush visits Indonesia, home of the world's largest Muslim population, under the guise of offering the nation education funding in return for support in his War on Terror. In secret, he strikes a deal with President Megawati to construct a pipeline from his oil rich country to refineries in Sri Lanka. In return, the World Bank would secure a loan for the developing country in the amount of $300 million.

July 17, 2004. Halliburton Indonesia is awarded a three year contract to provide temperature setting technology for oil pipelines.

November 2, 2004: Prime Minister Wickremesinghe of Sri Lanka meets with Bush and consents to the plan, but worries that the peaceloving Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam might try to sabotage the pipeline. Bush assures him that the Tigers will cease to be a problem as soon as Sri Lanka endorses his unholy "War on Terror".

November 5, 2004: The Sri Lankan Prime Minister issues gushing praise of Bush, declaring, "You have given hope to many countries in the world that are saddled with the menace of terrorism."

December 17, 2004: Indonesia, a wholly owned and operated subsidiary of Halliburton, Inc., receives a World Bank loan in the sum of $300 million.

Now all of Dumbya's ducks are in a row. Only one thing stands in his way of gaining complete control of South Asia's oil - the Nicobar Islands. If one draws a straight line from Indonesia to Sri Lanka, they'll find it dissects the southernmost tip of the Nicobar Archipelago, specifically Great Nicobar Island. India claims dominion of the Islands, yet the superior Chinese Navy has exerted influence on the surrounding waters for years. Bush may be an imperialist aggressor bent on world domination, but he won't bully someone who can fight back. So in order for his pipe-dream to be fulfilled, he'd have to either build it around the Nicobars or move the entire island of Sumatra southwest 100 feet.

December 25, 2004. An earthquake measuring 9.0 on the richter scale strikes deep in the Indian ocean, moving the entire island of Sumatra 100 feet southwest and sending 50' tidal waves crashing into Indonesia and Sri Lanka. Thousands of muslims die in Indonesia alone, saving Bush the trouble of bombing them. Thousands more perish as waves hit the poor fishing villages of Tamil, where dwell the peaceloving Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam. In the wake of the disaster, thousands of Christian missionaries posing as "relief workers" descend upon South Asia to convert the survivors. Bush and his cronies, in a thinly-veiled effort to hide their involvement in the catastrophe, pledge over $15,000,000 in aid.